Read PDF The 7 year Cycles of Life: The Phases We Experience in our Lifetime

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Then you die. So while staring at my navel the other day, I decided that that bitch happens in four stages. Here they are. We are born helpless.

The Ptolemaic System

First we learn to do physical skills like walk and talk. Then we develop social skills by watching and mimicking our peers around us. Then, finally, in late childhood, we learn to adapt to our culture by observing the rules and norms around us and trying to behave in such a way that is generally considered acceptable by society. The goal of Stage One is to teach us how to function within society so that we can be autonomous, self-sufficient adults.


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The idea is that the adults in the community around us help us to reach this point through supporting our ability to make decisions and take action ourselves. But some adults and community members around us suck.

We get stuck in Stage One, endlessly mimicking those around us, endlessly attempting to please all so that we might not be judged. This is Stage One. The mimicry. The constant search for approval and validation. The absence of independent thought and personal values. We must be aware of the standards and expectations of those around us. But we must also become strong enough to act in spite of those standards and expectations when we feel it is necessary.

We must develop the ability to act by ourselves and for ourselves. In Stage One, we learn to fit in with the people and culture around us. Stage Two is about learning what makes us different from the people and culture around us. Stage Two requires us to begin making decisions for ourselves, to test ourselves, and to understand ourselves and what makes us unique. Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. Stage Two is a process of self-discovery.

We try things. Some of them go well.

Family Life Cycle | HealthLink BC

The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on. Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. That was important to find out as well.

We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years. Traveling the world is one example. Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me.

Family Life Cycle

Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and, therefore, you should spend it on things that matter most. These people get stuck in Stage Two. At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it. But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place.

Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back. Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon. You double down on the most important relationships in your life.

Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done. Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life.

What will people remember you by? Less stress often means better health. Your specific goals for this stage of the family life cycle are:. At some point in your relationship, you and your partner will decide if you want to have a baby. Some couples know going into a relationship that they do not want children.


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  • Family Life Cycle;

Parenting is one of the most challenging phases of the family life cycle. The decision to have children is one that affects your individual development, the identity of your family, and your relationship. Children are so time-consuming that skills not learned in previous stages will be difficult to pick up at this stage. Your ability to communicate well, maintain your relationships, and solve problems is often tested during this stage. Introducing a child into your family results in a major change in roles for you and your partner.

Each parent has three distinct and demanding roles: as an individual, a partner, and a parent. As new parents, your individual identities shift along with how you relate to each other and to others.

The Four Stages of Life

The skills that you learned in the Independence and Coupling stages, such as compromise and commitment, will help you move to the Parenting stage. Along with the joy that comes from having a child, you may feel a great deal of stress and fear about these changes. A woman might have concerns about being pregnant and going through childbirth. Fathers tend to keep their fears and stress to themselves, which can cause health problems.

Talking about your emotional or physical concerns with your family doctor , obstetrician , or counsellor can help you deal with these and future challenges. Adapting children into other relationships is a key emotional process of this stage. You will take on the parenting role and transition from being a member of a couple to being a parent.